Essential 7: Be Forgiving

It sounds so simple, and yet it can be so difficult. Extending and asking for forgiveness is one of the four principles of emotional health because it is central to your ability to give and receive love. In its purest form, forgiveness is not an act, but an attitude. As you cultivate the ability to live in a state of forgiveness, your anger, frustration and guilt are replaced with peace, love and acceptance.

Points to Consider

• Forgiveness allows us to let go of the past. When you forgive, you no longer have a reason to dwell on past mistakes and upsets, and the future is no longer tainted by the past
• Forgiveness strengthens and preserves relationships. When the past interferes with the present, trust, respect and acceptance suffers as a result Forgiving and seeking forgiveness builds strong bonds of love and trust
• Forgiveness puts in motion the Law of Reciprocity. Give forgiveness, and you will receive forgiveness. When others know you are a forgiving person, they will seek you out to make things right, and will gladly extend you forgiveness when needed• Forgiveness lifts our burdens. Carrying the anger and guilt of past mistakes, whether yours or others, weighs down your spirit and makes happiness and peace seem unattainable. Forgiveness removes this heavy load, freeing you to enjoy life to the fullest
• Forgiveness deepens our ability to accept and love others. Forgiveness strengthens your ability to separate people from actions. While you may not like everything someone does, your ability to forgive their mistakes makes it easier to love and accept them
• Beyond forgiving others, you must forgive yourself for past mistakes and poor choices. Inner directed discouragement and anger sap you of energy and the ability to enjoy the blessings and love in your life. Freedom from negativity and guilt are the priceless rewards you reap when you learn to forgive others and yourself

Substantiation

Results from Dr. Fred Luskin’s Stanford University Forgiveness Project show that learning how to forgive improves emotional and physical well-being, while holding onto resentment or hurt releases stress chemicals that can have a negative impact on health.

Researchers from the Institute for Social Research report their findings that people who report higher levels of forgiveness of others were more satisfied in life and less likely to report symptoms of psychological distress, including nervousness, restlessness or sadness.

A research study at the University of Tennessee found that when people forgive, blood pressure can go down, which contributes to better health. Researchers discovered that the study participants who were least forgiving had higher blood pressure than those who were the most forgiving. Researchers also found similar differences in forehead muscle tension.

Researchers at Stanford University report that even people who are not depressed or anxious can improve their emotional or psychological functioning enough to feel better through forgiveness. Studies show that mismanaged anger and hostility are risk factors for cardiovascular disease.